It’s the most beautiful feeling in the world, to have a person who doesn’t even let you stand without loving you. You feel it you know, when someone is addicted to you? I mean the real love, you feel this, it’s elementary different than passing fancy or sexual desire. It’s intimacy and affection, caring and being altruistic and maybe this “someone else’s happiness is your happiness” thought of love.
I think it’s because I pulled that all-nighter at my friend’s house and last night was my first sleep. And then I worked at 7:30am.
Anyways, I’m kind of getting grumpy because the guy I like at work seems to like me less and less. By the time Halloween rolls around I feel like he might not like me as much. Especially since he has yet to ask me out. I always stop in to see him in his department before I leave (except today), but he never even comes through my line on his days off…
He’s really the first guy I’ve wanted to pursue since Nathan.
So it really sucks =/
And apparently everyone knows I like him, so maybe that’s why he’s not interested anymore. He could date a much better looking girl. I’d be embarrassing.
Remember when Never Have I Ever games used to be like “never have I ever had sex *giggle*”
Now it’s like “never have I ever had a six person orgy in a broom closet” and people are all like “crap, I’m out.”
I was getting a little aggravated, because I was getting hit on and there was alcohol when I thought there would be none.
But I stepped outside for a minute and my friend followed me and my night got way better.
We talked about relationships.
He told me how “everyone was so surprised when nathan proposed, none more than you i bet!” and “when he left you, everyone was fucking shocked! we all really thought you guys had something, we really thought you guys were ‘real’ “
(He was in a relationship for 3 years with a girl he thought about marrying, so for him to say that is a big deal).
The more people bring Nathan up, the more I realize I just feel nothing now. Every day, I care less and less.
He said “literally everyone thinks you’re not over him, sorry” and I can’t change what people think. But he was with me on how I don’t have to sleep with anyone to “prove” I’m over him. I don’t want to or need to prove that. Especially not that way.
[I feel so healthy in my life right now. Serious positive vibes. I’m so happy.]
I kind of like my friend, but we’ve been friends since the day I started working at my job. Not really sure I’m really in the mood to break that wall. I already told him I liked someone else and he was really good about it.
Not like I’m the only girl guys pine over. But we are hanging out a lot more.
I like/miss having a guy friend I can just lay in bed with and know he’s going to be respectful. It was a really good night.